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© 2016 Rachel Melvin. All rights reserved.  

How Bitches Are Made™ and HBAM™ are trademarks owned by Rachel Melvin

10 Reasons a Bitch Can Love London

November 9, 2017

 

 

1. The people speak our language -

 

 

Every bitch can agree that not everyone likes our honest, direct, and sarcastic demeanor. 

To Londoners, however, it’s warmly welcome. Fluent in sarcasm themselves, the clever Brit not only keeps up with quick witted banter, they’re often the one’s initiating it! 

You’re sure to feel right at home with conversations that are mutually and refreshingly 

appreciated while incredibly entertaining.

 

 

2.   The City is idiot proof -

 

 

From the transit system to the city’s rubbish disposal, everything in London is organized, 

separated, and clearly marked and labeled, leaving little room for confusion and clutter, not to mention saving you loads of precious time.

 

 

3. The people care about your health and well being - 

 

 

All around the city, you’ll see signs encouraging commuters and pedestrians to hydrate with water. Not only do they make doing so easy by providing water fountains all over, 

they also provide restroom facilities for when you’ve had your lot. It only makes sense - if  

there’s nowhere to go, it’s hard to drink H2O.

 

 

4. The people don’t rush you - 

 

 

Okay, so this is an all around European thing, but it’s nice to know it carries over to our 

Sister Country, specifically. Whether it’s a conversation, retrieving information, or eating, 

they’ll never yell at, or pressure you to hurry. In fact, they’ll often urge you to slow down - 

particularly when it comes to eating. 

 

It’s easy to feel like feeding ourselves is purely mechanical, especially when the pressure of 

doing it in a timely manner looms. In London however, you’re encouraged to take the time 

to not only taste your beverage, appetizer, entree, dessert and coffee, but enjoy them as well. After all, dining should be an experience! And the experience is so much more enjoyable when you’re treated like a welcomed, cared for patron, as opposed to cattle one needs to turn over.

 

 

5. There’s a strict no picture policy -

 

 

Ever notice how hard it is to find interior pictures of historical or religious landmarks like 

St. Paul’s Cathedral or Buckingham Palace on Instagram? It’s the same reason you don’t 

have to wait in line to get inside these buildings. A strict no camera policy ensures the flow of foot traffic is kept moving by eliminating those stopping to get the “perfect shot.” Not to mention taking photos is a lack of respect in most of these venues. Plus, in this day and age, being forced to live in the moment is as refreshing as it ends up rewarding.
 

 

6. The City always gives you a lift -

 

 

You know what a girl hates most about the transit system? Having to use it with a suitcase. 

Having to haul your luggage up fifty thousands stairs to get to the street level? No, thanks! But, we’re not exactly enthusiastic about paying 60 dollars (or pounds, in this case) for a taxi, either. In London, though, there’s a different kind of lift that solves your problem. 

Elevators are in most, if not all, underground stations. Making traveling easy, and oh so 

affordable.

 

 

7. The people cater to bitches - 

 

 

Not only do Brits support women in power, they give priority seating to the pregnant ones, and they make it easier for us when we’re on our lady time. I actually had this idea a few years back without knowing it already existed - in the occasional designated female 

bathroom, you can find single use plastic bags in each stall to wrap used “lady 

cotton” (think of it like a dog poop bag for your period - or don’t). It makes a  messy 

situation far more tidy and sanitary, especially for the person cleaning out the rubbish bin.

 

 

8. The city tells you where tax dollars went - 

 

 

There are signs literally pointing out to citizens how their tax dollars were spent, and  

thanking them for their contribution to the city. If that were the case in the States, I don’t 

know about you, but I’d be far less ripped off and annoyed with having them taken out of 

my paycheck.

 

 

9. It’s Pro Alcohol-

 

 

You can pretty much get it anywhere, any time - as long as that time comes after your 18th 

birthday. While drinking at a theater feels as common sense to me as drinking at a sports 

arena, I’m still surprised by how many venues don’t allow alcohol into the theater. In 

London, or at least the theater I went to in the West End, it’s not only generously available, 

but welcome inside. As it should be! Everything is better with alcohol, and as I’m sure 

all my non-creative friends and followers would agree, especially the theater.

 

 

10. People are genuinely helpful -

 

 

As I write this from 10,000 feet up on my return to Los Angeles, I’m aware it’s a possibility 

I’m still seeing things through rose colored lenses. However, I found the people of London 

to be incredibly accommodating, friendly, helpful, and caring. I witnessed a local man 

helping a woman who didn’t speak English purchase an Underground ticket at a Kiosk. 

When I was still unfamiliar with it myself, I was not only helped by a friendly Underground 

Employee who was readily available outside of a booth, but became engaged with him in a lengthy conversation which subsequently transpired. I was reminded by a theater staff 

member to keep my purse closed while walking the streets of London after my show. And 

when I tripped, falling over my suitcase while running to catch a train to another terminal, I 

was helped up by more than a couple people who witnessed my sheer and utter 

embarrassment.  

 

London, you really tripped me up. In the best-est of ways.

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