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How FOB became my key to moving on

May 2, 2017

DOUBLE D PT5

- A lesson in never shitting where you eat and never eating your own words.-

 

PT 5: The Fall Out, boy

(If you haven't been following this story, or, if you can't remember where we left off, you may want to do some catching up here. Otherwise, this particular post might seem out of context.)

 

 

 

The Tonight Show filmed at another stage on our lot, and when I heard Fall Out Boy was going to be a guest, I told Double D, and we quickly pressed our Publicity Department to arrange a “Meet and Greet” with the band.

 

It was during our lunch break when we got word Andy, Pete, Patrick, and Joe were on their way over to meet us. We introduced ourselves to one another, then gave them a quick tour of our sets before posing for a picture. Shortly after, my name was called for a Blocking Rehearsal, so I said my goodbyes to the band and left Double D to see them off.

 

After my rehearsal, I returned to my dressing room to find a small piece of paper laying on my desk. It was a phone number with the name of one of the single band members. No sooner had I picked it up, and there was a knock on my door. I pulled it open to find Double D.

 

“Hey, did you - ” he noticed the piece of paper still in my hands. “Oh, good. You got it. Yeah, he wanted you to have his number.”

 

I did my best to suppress the giant, smug smile poetic justice was bestowing (as you'll recall from Double D PT1, not only did he introduce me to the band, he declared "Sugar, we're going down" as "our" song).

 

“He asked Stephanie (our show’s Publicist) to give it to you, but I said I would,” he continued.

 

“Thanks!” I said. We stood there, in an awkward and elongated silence, before he spoke again.

 

“So, are you gonna call him?”

Though I wanted to be honest with him about my intentions to do so, especially considering his insistence we were "just friends", I couldn’t help but notice how despite trying to act cool, Double D seemed genuinely wounded and concerned. So, I responded, “I dunno...maybe.” And that was how I left it.

 

That same week, Double D knocked on my dressing room door again. This time, to rehearse a few scenes we had together. Typically, in rehearsals, you mime kissing until you’re rolling on camera, and even then, out of respect for your fellow actor, refrain from using tongue.

 

Regardless of the fact Double D and I had been a couple and most people on set knew it, we always abided by these rules to remain professional. So, I was astonished when during our rehearsal in my dressing room that day, he not only kissed me unexpectedly, but definitely tasted the glazed donut I’d just had from the Craft Room upstairs.

 

 It took me aback. “What are you doing?” I asked him. 

 

“Rehearsing,” he said. I instantly suspected the FOB was also the key to Double D’s sudden new behavior.

_______________________________________________

 

Sometimes in life, a young woman might find herself dating someone who gives her just enough to survive, but for some reason, refuses to give her what would make her thrive. My relationship with Double D was just that, and I’d have a few more afterward which bore a striking resemblance.

Just as it’s important to know you can’t put your happiness in the hands of someone else, it’s equally important to recognize when a person is threatened by the amount of happiness you innately posess. A secure, self-loving being will never try to bring you down by telling you that you say “I love you” too much because they are incapable of the same, and you will never have to wonder what they love most about you because you will know by how often they admire you for it. Don’t rationalize away red flags or your intuition. We are the only species to do it. Thanks, Consciousness!!! 

 

Remember: though relationships are work, they should never be hard work, and they certainly shouldn’t begin at work. Never shit where you eat, and never eat your own words because they come up like vomit, and that’s a hard flavor to kick.

 

**In case you were wondering - yes, I eventually hung out with the FOB, and I got to know a pretty great person who ultimately became a friend. He was never aware of the backstory prior to giving me his number, so I know he’s in the dark with regard to how grateful I was, and still am, for helping me get through a very difficult period of my life. Our conversations were always enlightening and insightful, and I realized that life surrounds you with a lot of the wrong people to help you recognize, attract, and appreciate the ones who are well worth your time… the good ones.

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